mind games is only fun for a little bit as flirting

but not for 10 fucking months

* + to "Why fucking me//Janet Fucking Jackson posts"

on 2/23, i started something with someone.

He was super nice to me. Got me into thinking. Later then I found out he is in a relationship with someone in China, coming back soon *Alarm 1!*.

2 wks before she is back, he started something with me in bed *Alarm 2*.

The situation bought out the competitive side of me... My lack of self control pushed me into this cliff.



For the 1st 2 months, the free falling was pretty fun. But, all the rest were mostly tears. Finally, I have reached the bottom, after withdrawing from school for a semester, after some suicidal attempts... after 10 more months of limbo.

I refused to believe how selfish he is to me and insignificate I am to him...
Finally, I have seen enough to let go and believe...

There are no good boys/ Bad boys.
They are just people who are good for each other//bad for each other.


We might be good for each other when we were duped up on lovewe are bad for each other now.


---
and I am not planning to update anything on this board..
this post is just to finish off what I have started on 2/23.

someone fucking shoot me...

janet fucking jackson

Someone To Call My Lover Lyrics

MP3 Downloads

Send Janet Jackson polyphonic ringtone to your cell phone


Back on the road again
Feeling kinda lonely
And looking for the right guy
To be mine

Friends say I'm crazy cause
Easily I fall in love
You gotta do it different J
This time

Maybe we'll meet at a bar
He'll drive a funky car
Maybe we'll meet at a club
And fall so deeply in love
He'll tell me I'm the one
And we'll have so much fun
I'll be the girl of his dreams (maybe)

Alright baby come on
dance my way i gotta
get some one
to call my lover
yeah! baby come on

Yeah baby come on
Alright baby come in
Pass my way
I gotta get someone to call my lover
Yeah baby come on

I-YI-I-YI-I-YI
I-I-I
I-YI-I-YI-I-YI
I-I-I
I-YI-I-YI-I-YI
I-I-I
I-YI-I-YI-I-YI
I-I-I

I spoil them when I'm in love
Given them what they dream of
Sometimes it's not a good thing
But I'm blind

I love hard with everything
Giving my all
More than they
I'll take my friends' advice this time
I'll do it differently

Maybe we'll meet at a bar
He'll drive a funky car
Maybe we'll meet at a club
And fall so deeply in love
He'll tell me I'm the one
And we'll have so much fun
I'll be the girl of his dreams maybe

Alright maybe gonna find him today
I gotta get someone to call my lover
Yeah baby come on
Alright baby come in
Pass my way
I gotta get someone to call my lover
Yeah baby come on


I-YI-I-YI-I-YI
I-I-I
I-YI-I-YI-I-YI
I-I-I
I-YI-I-YI-I-YI
I-I-I
I-YI-I-YI-I-YI
I-I-I


My my
Looking for a guy guy
I don't want him too shy
But he's gotta have the qualities
That I like in a man
Strong, smart, affectionate
He's gotta be all for me
And I'll be too
You see happily

Maybe we'll meet at a bar
He'll drive a funky car
Maybe we'll meet at a club
And fall so deeply in love
He'll tell me I'm the one
And we'll have so much fun
I'll be the girl of his dreams maybe

Alright maybe gonna find him today
I gotta get someone to call my lover
Yeah baby come on
Alright baby come in
Pass my way
I gotta get someone to call my lover
Yeah baby come on

Alright maybe gonna find him today
I gotta get someone to call my lover
Yeah baby come on
Alright baby come in
Pass my way
I gotta get someone to call my lover
Yeah baby come on


I-YI-I-YI-I-YI
I-I-I
I-YI-I-YI-I-YI
I-I-I
I-YI-I-YI-I-YI
I-I-I
I-YI-I-YI-I-YI
I-I-I


Maybe we'll meet at a bar
He'll drive a funky car
Maybe we'll meet at a club
And fall so deeply in love
He'll tell me I'm the one
And we'll have so much fun
I'll be the girl of his dreams maybe

Alright maybe gonna find him today
I gotta get someone to call my lover
Yeah baby come on
Alright baby come in
Pass my way
I gotta get someone to call my lover
Yeah baby come on

Fuck off

... why me? why fucking me?!

lessons from the others

fuck man... some ppl really think they know it all when they r sooooo confused themselves that they have fucked themselves up with their philo w/o even knowing...

they r obsessened with this fantasical idea. that they blind themselves from what is real. what is here. what is far away and what is fantasy.


i have my evidences to back up my argument.



i have to lead.

Bring it on

I like mind games.


It's like mind fucking.

"Sharon"

4am. waking up at 7am to work on Professor's Peng's assignment.

--------

I've just met someone amazing.


Key word:
Just.

Playful word:
amazing.

But anyways,
It's good coz
I need someone to pull me back into reality.
& That happened just right.
---


I am happy.
Happy Birthday, Sharon.
Happy 21st Birthday.


You deserve it.
Do not be sad anymore.

"Glassy"

It was just so easy! You log on, you /g /w.
There was no complication!

As long as you learnt2play+dont say stupid things+talk too much you are cool/interesting.
Not to mention that its so much easier when you are the only girl there...
People take more shit from you if you are a girl... (not a proud thing to say)

All just due to...
the social filteration goes on on WOW is so much simpler.

these become less of a problem:
1. the physical attractivness- race, height, weight, face... etc
2. social status
3. lack of common interest - WOW= our common passion<3!>>>


Generally speaking,
I love people. And, I am surrounded by them.
People love me.

But, I am killing myself with my wants and wishes.
My lack of patiences. My lack of self-control.
My impulse to fulfill my immediate/short-term wants.

I need to consider my "NEEDS" some more.

---------------------------------

after all these nonsense that i bought myself into...

I cannot help but to sigh, " IT WAS SUCH A JOKE! WUT DA HELL, SHARON?"



-Sharon

My Advice to You

If you know what you want, you just need to work hard for it, against all odds.

Reword

That was a joke.
Meaning that I can take it easy.

Must Put an End to this NON SENSE

I am fully aware of what am I going through;
all the pro's and con's are obvious.





That is just irrational and hopelessly ridiculous.




This is a joke.
Take it easy.

One and Other: You and I (AKA: Rethinking on WOW)

People bond; they form relationships.

Relationships vary in purpose, duration, worth, and its impact on the assoicated individuals.


When first introduced, we make evaluation, estimation, and assumption of the strangers base on our 1st impressions and act upon them. As we are engaged in the same actitives, connections between us and others arise naturally.

The purpose of developing a relationship becomes an essential determinator of the effort later spent in bonding. Generally speaking, more the reasons, more valuable each other's companies become.
And, the duration of a relationship much depends on both of the individuals' maintance effort.
A relationship's worth is calculated base on the psychological rewards and(or) materialistical benfits received by one. Note that the worth of a relationship is also another important predictor of the amount of effort would be invested in bonding. And therefore, has a great impact on the relationship's duration.

All relationships have impacts on us at some degree psychological;y, socialogically, materialistically, econmically, and etc. Great or Small, the impact on us is closely correlated to how much effort is poured out from us.


Anyways, this is the point of this post:

"Glassy, it is difficult to have WOW and a relationship at the same time. If you need to quit for some other things, it will be a good thing if u stop playing because it does take up a lot of your life. Keep it a game. Do not bring in real life personal stories and issues in the game for yourself and also for the other people." - a Mystery South African.
(I do not know have I misunderstood him, but it doesnt matter. He made me rethink about wow.)



Most people on this online game cannot be treated as "Real Beings". To most, other "characters" are just part of the "fictional world", part of the game. Sometimes, it is even necessary to be treated and used or to see the others as "tools" in order to make some acheivment, i.e. kill the fucking BWL bosses. There is no time, no room, no need for any outside-of-game conversations; there is no need! As WOW consumes most of our days, our basic psychological rewards, social needs are granted as the game goes on... as part of the game. Many of us started playing this game for fun, but as time goes on, we begin to rely this game for all those mentioned needs, rewards, and even self-actualization at the polar!

Our Lives becomes part of the game as we revolve our real life schedule around this game...



Time wasted on chasing after some short-term reward might as well be spent on bonding with more potential people in REAL life, chase after some far more promising reward.

My Promising Career, Relationships, and much more.








-I am an almost level 21 Human Female Cal Psychology Student called Sharon,
not a level 60 Undead Female Frost-spect Mage named Glassy.

Leaving My Fictional Niche

A fantastical digital world that becomes a casual social niche of many individual minds.

Though the bonds exist among these minds are often temporary, the among of time each mind committed themselves to the tasks assigned by the game is rather significate.


Generally, bonds and partnerships among us form in order to achieve certain goals.
Short-term goals lend to temporary relationships; long-term goals lend to more enduring relationships. Examples of short-term goals would be: slay a dragon in couple hours, get a key in one night, and collect runeclothes when the main raid group does not want you; long-term goals would include: become dragon slaying partners every monday night, become reputation farming buddies every wednesday and friday night, maybe even dinner-eating mates, hang-out friends (in real life)!

In WOW, generally speaking, there are only short-term to semi-long-term goals.

But yet, I have met a handful of interesting characters (beautiful diction here! double meanings!) whom I would be much interested in establishing some longer-term goals with.






That's a very queer idea.
Certainly odd, but that isn't completely unreasonable nor illogical.



This silly little passion.

I was once told,
"If you fall for your strangest desire, you will feel silly at the end."


-------------





After a long battle...
I need to realize there is no REAL in that fictional online world.

There are too many things waiting for me in the REAL world.
I need to go!

I cannot just stay in WoW as an undead female forever!

P.e.o.p.l.e! I NEED PEOPLE!
R.E.A.L PEOPLE!

those voices are NOT REAL!
they are NOT tanglable!

I NEED REAL PEOPLE!

They are all waiting for me at AAA, SoComm, and even HKSA!
at the gym, in class, section, office...
NOT /g /p /w!!!

There be real DATES! not /kiss /hug /pat /sexy /love!!!

NO MORE /kisses! no more <3 style="font-weight: bold;"> NOW!